You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake (Tyler Durden)

14 Sep

When you’re looking for a partner, or trying to sell yourself to a person (no, not as in ‘on the streets’ but as in on a dating website or on that first date) people always make themselves out to be something special. Something extra special. Sometimes – they are. A lot of the time… well, at the end of the day everyone has a job, everyone wants money and to be loved and we all need to sleep at least 4 times a week in order to not go crazy.

I wonder if I really am particularly quirky. People, apparently, consider me to be. I suppose I’m an odd mix; pretending to be uber confident on the one hand but very humble on the other. Speaking gangster one second but vehemently believing in women’s rights – human rights and equality in general. Watching shit TV but also being well read, politically informed and generally smart. I wear bright clothes and my underwear rarely matches. If I could wander round with my face painted like a tiger every day, rather than putting on make up, I would. I dye my hair red because I believe it suits my personality, but it’s a happy coincidence that it also suits my colouring and eyes and therefore makes me a little less unattractive.

A guy got me thinking tonight. He came up to me, wearing plain jeans, not particularly great shoes and a lion t-shirt. Normal, sort brown hair. Don’t get me wrong, I ADORE lions and the t-shirt was awesome. But he didn’t stand out. He tried making conversation but he didn’t do anything to make me remember him…  was I right to brush him off? My last boyfriend definitely stood out. Afro mohawk and a reasonably sharp dresser. On our first date he stuck his fingers up and swore at me. I liked it. Strangers would come up to him and make conversation simply about his hair. Then again, it also meant a lot of other girls noticed him too, so the same thing that attracted me to him also turned into an issue.

Maybe I should give a guy with an average ‘look’ a chance. But is it so wrong of me to want to walk down the street with a guy who you really remember rather than one who blends into the crowd? It might solve a lot of problems and there are certainly more of those men out there than the kind of guy I’m looking for. When I say I want ‘him’ to stand out, I mean like this….

Oh my, those trousers. Those smart, pointed shoes. All in all a great look which I can totally get behind. True, he’s posing like a douche here, but if I passed him in the street and he wasn’t draping himself over some railings, I’d certainly look twice.

As far as I’m concerned, my clothes and the way I style myself is an extension of my personality. This entire post isn’t me being vain – it’s me wanting to be able to get an idea of what a guy is like by simply looking at him. Which, I know, isn’t every totally possible – but someone a little flamboyant and unafraid to make a statement can’t be all bad. Or maybe they can..

I’m not sure that this post has got me anywhere at all. What do you think? Do you like a guy/girl who wears their personality for all to see or is it not an issue for you? I think I need to give the average joe a bit more of a chance, perhaps. We’ll see.

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