Tommi’s, Roller Disco, Kurt Cobain and dating deal breakers

6 Apr

EAT: I have a rather lengthy list of places I need to visit in London which serve up great burgers. A lot of my recommendations I get from fellow London burger bloggers – Tommi’s Burger Joint is a place which gets a fair bit of press so I thought I’d give it a try.

Tommi’s started off in Marylebone and they’ve been there for a couple of years now. However, they recently moved to a 10 minute walk from me: King’s Road, Chelsea. If you move to Chelsea it’s impossible to be trendy. I walked in and was greeted by a nice enough decor:  fairy lights and a hatch crammed full of sauce recommendations and typography. However, the people eating in there were a chino-wearing posh family with children wearing button down shirts and loafers (not kidding). They took away from the atmosphere somewhat, but that’s not really Tommi’s fault. It’s Chelsea’s problem.

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Onto the burger. I got the veggie burger and I’m a firm believer that if a beef burger join offers a veggie option, it better be as bloody good as the beef, or they shouldn’t offer it. I actually respect Motherflipper for only having beef options because why half-arse something?

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Well, Tommi’s half-arsed it. The burger menu is basic and they don’t actually tell you what’s in the ‘veggie burger’. Turns out it’s a patty (which is good, rather than a lazy Portobello mushroom offering). The patty seemed to be chickpeas with veg in the patty, served with Tommi’s usual tomato, mayo and lettuce. However, the patty was incredibly dry and the burger just didn’t work. There wasn’t much flavour at all in the patty – the brioche bun combined with the patty was just too dry to actually enjoy. Then when you dip it in a sauce to juice it up, all you can taste is the sauce. Not impressed.

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The fries were just fries – nothing special at all. They were hardly seasoned at all – I honestly would have preferred some Maccy D’s fries to these.  I must say, I like the condiments on offer at Tommi’s though. One of the servers was helping the kids create condiments and you can mix up a huge range of sauces (BBQ, mayo, hot sauce, chipotle etc) to make your own. It’s a nice touch. If only the fries and the burger were worth putting the sauces on. Maybe I got them on a bad day, but ho hum.
SEE: Last night I went to the Roller Disco at the Renaissance Rooms in Vauxhall. I’ve wanted to go since I moved to London and I was WELL up for a bit of neon falling on my ass.

Tickets cost £15 and they’re quick to go. I turned up to get my ticket on the door and half the people queuing had gone ALL out. Neon leggings, wigs, rave paint – if it could glow in the dark, it was. Others hadn’t made any effort at all (I was middle ground in terms of effort I life to think. Bright yellow dress and rave paint counts, right?)

As soon as we got in, some guy fell over and scored a massive ladder in my friend’s tights. This didn’t bode well as he’d actually looked like he knew what he was doing. Now, let me tell you: I’ve good at roller blading and I’m not that bad at all at ice skating. I never fall over. Life is good.

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Roller SKATING however… what the fuck.  Firstly, you’re given a pair of skates and some disgusting half protectors which smell like they haven’t been washed in a decade. It’s honestly nauseating. You put your skates on next to the ‘beginners’ skate rink (there’s an area for pros at the back which I went nowhere near). And the whole thing, well… it wasn’t fun.

Firstly, most people there weren’t pros. Like everyone else, I managed to skate around the beginners section without falling over a few times but having to concentrate SO hard on falling over, the effort just got too much. At this point I was reasonably sober and there is NO WAY I would ever drink at the roller disco: firstly because the drinks are hugely overpriced and secondly because I wouldn’t have been able to stand up without falling over immediately. Also, as soon as you pause for even a couple of seconds on the skate floor there’s an usher forcing you to get moving again. It’s horrible. As are my photography skills when on skates:

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I’m sure if you’re great at roller skating then it’s a wonderful night out. And I’m not the kind of person who cares about falling over in front of people – I do it all the time in the office so this isn’t me caring too much about how appear. Basically – there’s not enough seating in the place for those who don’t have the confidence to skate properly. It’s difficult to stop and there aren’t enough things around the room to grab onto, so lots of people were spilling their drinks and knocking into people. And, quite frankly, paying £15 to wear safety hand pads which reeked constantly and be on my guard about falling over and not being able to drink… well, it’s not my idea of a fun night out.

I’d say give it a try if you have the inclination, but don’t expect a night where you can totally let go, dance and have a great time. If you’re single you are NOT going to pick anyone up here. Only come here if you’ve been dating someone for a while and you can ACTUALLY skate like a pro.
LISTEN: When I was a young teenager I got a crush on a guy who wore a hoody with a yellow face on and had ‘NIRVANA’ emblazoned across the top in yellow. I decided to check out Nirvana as a result and I found one of my favourite childhood bands, grunge and (as a teen) the love of my life).

Kurt Cobain died 20 years ago. He shot himself on April 5th and was found on April 8th. Conspiracy theories aside, it was a big loss to the music industry, but as per usual, we all moved on.

2da129130c95b8a28ffe651fab0480afkurt cobain

Now, I don’t like men who smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t want a project I have to ‘fix’. But Kurt Cobain I have to thank for a lot. He’s liberal and so many of his quotes and interviews opened my eyes to just chilling out and realising we all deserve respect. He’s creative – his music honestly changed my life. Nirvana got me out of pop music and opened my eyes to the music I like now, including Radiohead. He’s also one of the most beautiful men to have ever graced the planet. Those eyes. Dear god. His dress sense was amazing. Kurt Cobain first made me venture into a charity shop and I’m a fan of cheap, quirky and cheerful to this day.

My favourite Kurt Cobain quotes are as follows (and no, none of them are from his suicide note).

  • “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am”
  • “I have no tragedy for my art so I hallucinate”
  • “If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of a different colour, or women, please do this one favour for us… don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records”.

ifwt_kurt1 thumb

So, my music choice for this blog post is one of my favourite Nirvana songs. The great thing about Kurt Cobain was that he’s a storyteller. His music was actually about something. Scentless Apprentice is about a wonderful book by Patrick Suskind called Perfume. Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle tells the tale of Frances Farmer, an actress who died in 1970 after being involuntarily being committed to a mental hospital. There were claims she was treated badly, even lobotomised, during her time there. One line from the song, “I miss the comfort in being sad”, says so much about her situation and when I used to listen to this song on repeat. Sometimes you just want to be left alone and you were content being simply ‘sad’, rather than constantly questioned and probed about it.

Listen and love. RIP Kurt.

LOVE:  I was asked the other day what my ‘must haves’ in a partner are. Sense of humour? Six pack? And I answered that I know what I don’t want more than knowing what I do want.

We all have things we look for in a partner but I think it’s far easier to judge someone on the things you absolutely couldn’t bear to live with than the things you ‘like’ them to have. After all, everyone DOES have a sense of humour… but it’s impossible for someone to make you laugh all the time. Everyone is going to piss you off and argue with you at some point, it’s just about making sure those arguments are never about the big things. I’d far rather date someone and find out later down the line that they don’t like Arrested Development (although, how could you not?) than date them and find out they voted for the BNP.

So, I’ve had a think and I have come up with an absolutely conclusive list of things which I could never accept in someone I date. Everything else is just stuff that I’d have to learn to live with or do a pros and cons list about. But if a guy does any of the following, I’d immediately have to write him off as a partner.

  1.  They smoke or take drugs. Smoking is an absolute no. If they smoke pot, say, once every 6 months then fine. But if they regularly use drugs then I can’t be dealing with that shit.
  2. They’re not liberal. If a guy shows himself to be, in any way, racist, homophobic or sexist then it’s an absolute no from me.
  3. They don’t treat people with the respect they deserve. I’ve known guys who talk absolute shit about their, quite frankly, lovely mothers. I’ve known ‘monogamous’ guys who cheat on their girlfriends just because they can. Treat people with the respect your relationship dictates.
  4.  They have no ambition at all. No dreams, nothing they aspire to be. Now, if someone has done everything in life they want to, then wonderful. But if that means they live at home and have a job in a supermarket, I think you could dream a little bigger. The ambition doesn’t even have to be work related. They could want to travel to Australia. They could want to volunteer for charity a bit more. I just like a guy who challenges himself, in the same way that I challenge myself. I like being out of my comfort zone a little bit. It’s good for you. And don’t get me wrong, they don’t need to be constantly striving to do bigger and better things. But I’d like a guy who has this on his agenda somewhere.
  5. They practice religion. I happen to be an atheist. I respect that fact that people have faith, although I may not understand it, they’re obviously free to believe and worship what they choose. However, I wouldn’t want to date someone who is actively religious.

What about you – is there anything you absolutely couldn’t cope with? Perhaps women who make lists about what they don’t want in a guy? 😉

FYI – if I could find a guy who looks like this when he winks at me, that’d be just swell. But I could probably live without it. Just.


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