Burger Bear, Cuba, Erykah Badu and outdated monogamy.

10 Jan

EAT: Burger Bear has eluded me for about a year. I funded them on Kickstarter as their burgers looked KICK ASS and have been meaning to redeem a free burger ever since. Over the Christmas holidays, I DID IT.

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Burger Bear currently live in Stoke Newington, at a residency in Peckham and on the Magic Roundabout (Old Street roundabout to the people who ain’t in the know). The roundabout has actually been decked out to look really cool. I was there in summer and they’ve actually made it seem far bigger than it is; two bars, lots of seating, fairy lights, plants and cool art. And, of course, Burger Bear.

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With a cider in hand I ordered The Grizzly Bear and fries. The Grizzly Bear includes the famous bacon jam, bacon, as well as a cheeseburger with double oak smoked bacon. It’s well good – I mean, you can tell that from the photo above, but it’s honestly a tasty little number. You can actually taste that the bacon is oak-smoked and the bacon jam is sweet but not too strong. The bun held together really well and the patty was also a good’un.

The fries were, well, fries, however they did taste a little different than what you usually get. Not sure if it’s the kind of potato they use or the oil, but they definitely have a good flavour compared to what’s usually served up as fries at burger joints.

All in all, Burger Bear serves up a strong burger. It’s up there with the likes of Patty and Bun, Byron and Lucky Chip and is well worth trying out. Yum!

SEE:  I’m going to Cuba. Well, I’m on the verge of booking flights once I have the ‘casa particular’ accommodation all lined up!

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One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to travel someone a little out of my comfort zone – a place which risks changing if I don’t go soon. Cuba, as I’m sure you’re aware, is on the tipping point of changing forever. Modern cars will be imported, Starbucks will spread like wildfire and the economy will change forever. If a hotel booking site or flight search engine is owned by a US company,  it won’t show you any Cuban properties or flights. That’s why home stays are so popular in Cuba – it’s a way of directly booking something and getting an authentic Cuban experience.

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Trains and internet will become faster and more widespread, roads will be improved as new cars come in and the economy will change. I want to see Cuba as it is today before it changes tomorrow. I’ll be staying in Havana, Vinales and Trinidad, so if you’ve been to Cuba and you have any tips for me please let me know!

LISTEN: Erykah Badu has been around for ages, spinning a mix of soul and r&b. However, I’ve only really been listening to her over the last few weeks and coincidentally, she’s just dropped a new mix tape: ‘Save the Bees’.

Badu does a bit of everything – she writes, sings, produces and DJs. There’s a real mix of artists in there too, ranging from Toro y Moi and Hiatus Kaiyote to more classic stuff like DeBarge and Loose Ends. Worth a listen, for sure.

LOVE: I’m non-traditional. I don’t believe in marriage and I don’t want kids. However, I must stress, that those things still mean something to the vast majority of people and I am 100% behind my friends getting hitched and having kids if that’s what they want to do.

The most traditional thing in the whole field of relationships is the idea of monogamy. The idea that you commit emotionally and physically to one person and never deviate from that commitment (hence why marriage was brought in, to cement that). This made sense a few hundred years ago: women had few rights and literally needed a man to commit to her in order for her to have a social standing and financial security. However, that’s no longer the case.

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These days, divorce is very normal. Mainly because monogamy doesn’t work as a concept anymore and people are less afraid to break up as it doesn’t have the same social implications it did 30 years ago. Not really, anyway. It’s not that all marriages end because someone cheats but people change and can’t stay faithful emotionally to a person because they may not be the same person as the one they married. It seems that monogamy is inflexible and is being increasingly proven to not work due to the number of people who cheat on their partner, apps like Tinder which make ‘onto the next one’ oh so easy, and the high divorce rates.

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Now, wait a sec. I’m not saying I’m polyamorous (or non-monogamous, whatever you want to call it). But I think the idea of monogamy is something that needs to be questioned. And all of this was sparked by an article I read: Polyamory as a Rejection of Capitalism. Based on this article I think I may be what the author calls ‘monogamous plus’. Even then, I might be boring old monogamous – can’t really say for sure until I try an open relationship and see how I fare, right?

Anyway. The below quotes in the blog post really resonated with me in particular:

  • Monogamy is a relationship contract which demands sexual and emotional exclusivity under the guise of loyalty. Your one partner is expected to fulfill all of your romantic and sexual needs, or else face with horror the idea that they are not “enough”. In platonic friendships these behaviors would be rightly labeled as controlling and manipulative—but within romantic and sexual relationships they’re “normal” because monogamy reproduces the capitalist nuclear family, as well as patriarchal mores of people as property.
  • I’m not part of a “unit”; I’m an individual. I treat all of my partners as individuals (whether they’re single, in a poly couple, or in other relationships). Don’t use other people to fill a void of desperation or loneliness.
  • Embrace the no-longer terrifying fact that your romantic and sexual relationships are not likely to last indefinitely. Being poly means allowing for fluidity not only between partners but within individual relationships which will undoubtedly change over time.

Anyway; despite not being polyamorous like the author of the blog post, there’s a LOT in there I agree with and it’s well worth a read. A lot of people think open relationships are about fucking lots of people without getting told off. Not the case. Have a read and let me know your thoughts!

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